


maybe i'll wake up one day

by erskinravel



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 10:04:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4300599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erskinravel/pseuds/erskinravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she heard these words Sardonyx felt like crying but she had no more tears left and it was too late for regrets. Far too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe i'll wake up one day

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the [theory](http://j-a-s-p-e-r-s.tumblr.com/post/122352972372/theory-jasper-is-a-forced-fusion-of-sardonyx-and) that Jasper is actually a forced fusion of Sardonyx and another Homeworld Gem (in this case Carnelian). Feel free to visit my [tumblr](http://judaiiyuki.tumblr.com) and cry about Steven Universe with me.

“I never wanted this!” Carnelian once again screamed in terror as she had so many times since the experiment had started. “Let her go! Let me go! I hate you ... I hate you!”

“Quit your whining,” snarled Sardonyx and her voice promised pain to the smaller gem who fought desperately against the restraints that kept them in their fused state. “How many times do I have to tell you that this is what we are now? It won’t end. No matter how much you cry and scream and beg for mercy. Get used to it.”

“Shut up!” Carnelian leaped at her but was yanked back by the shackles around her neck before she was even close to touching Sardonyx. With a hoarse cough she collapsed onto the ground. “I will never get used to this. What they’re doing to us is unnatural. We are a monstrosity.”

Sardonyx didn’t even bother to answer. She felt sick. The shock of being fused with a gem she never once met before hit her hard and the fact that said gem did nothing to make their shared torture somewhat easier stressed her even further. Something deep inside her broke when they forced their gems together in this horrible, horrible machine. Her head felt like it was about to explode. All that noise Carnelian made, all that screaming and wailing, their fusion who was so impossibly wild and oh so angry ... it was too much. Everything was too much.

She was already losing herself and it scared her to death. There were times when she couldn’t quite recall her own name or how she ended up here. These memory gaps kept coming in like waves. Sometimes they hit her hard, pushed her own mind against Carnelian’s until she was close to drowning in it, creating another part of Jasper in the process while a part of Sardonyx disappeared forever. Sometimes they retreated, allowing her to breathe and disentangle herself from the uncontrollable chaos that was Jasper.

Sardonyx wanted it to end. She was too weak to take any more of this but unlike Carnelian she suffered quietly. They weren’t compatible, the experiment was a complete failure but Yellow Diamond refused to let them go. She talked to Jasper as if it weren’t a bizarre and terrifying creature born from distrust and madness, called it a thorough success while Sardonyx and Carnelian were howling in its head. It was disturbing. It was completely and utterly wrong and yet Homeworld encouraged this experiment. They built the machine. And they knew this would happen.

“I just want to be me again.” Carnelian’s voice was so quiet, barely a whisper.

When she heard these words Sardonyx felt like crying but she had no more tears left and it was too late for regrets. Far too late.


End file.
